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3 Dumb Things That Happened This Week

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The Padres drafting Johnny Football is just one of three dumb things to happen this week.
The Padres drafting Johnny Football is just one of three dumb things to happen this week.

Welcome to the inaugural edition of "Three Dumb NFL Things That Happened This Week" which will be a regular column chronicling dumb things that happen as countless keyboard warriors at Football.com and elsewhere grasp for things to write about during this dead time of year for NFL news. Sometimes it'll be a media critique. That's right, we're going to be critiquing people, just like us, who are struggling to find worthy NFL news to cover, just like us. Mostly because we're terrible. But by and large it will be a commentary on how much crazy happens when it's the off-season and someone decides to feed this 24/7 insatiable NFL news beast.

Onward.  

3. Pete Carroll pretending he didn't intentionally beat the posse out of USC. When you're a famous coach just coming off a Super Bowl win, you pretty much can do what you'd like. Yes, even if it's sorta questionable. That said, the notion that Carroll would've turned down the tremendous amount of money he's making in Seattle and stayed through five years of NCAA sanctions and a cranky fanbase is absurd. The NCAA is a horribly corrupt and hypocritical organization, but it strains credulity to believe that they would've let Carroll stay the head coach of USC when the violations that they were purposefully blasting USC for occurred under his watch. Carroll left when the leaving was good, probably because he had some sense of what was coming down the pike.

When he left for Seattle, the job wasn't necessarily the powerhouse it is now. But the money was great and so was the chance to leave before things blew up at Southern Cal. It makes little sense to try to rewrite history now, Pete, and there is utterly no reason anyone should believe you. You can certainly coach, though.   

2. The team in Washington is still stupid. It has been my contention for quite some time that this name is going down and it's going down hard. It is also my contention that it is smarter economically for it to do so. Call them the Washington Warriors and be done with it. But, alas, the stupid runs strong with too many affiliated with the team. Which has prompted this: 

Over/Under on how long this continues until the name is finally changed? Five years. Your predictions are welcome in the comments below.  

1. Johnny Football getting drafted by the San Diego Padres. I'm as guilty of finding any reason to write about Johnny Football as the next guy. No seriously, I'm terrible. But he's a compelling personality and great for clicks. The problem with this isn't so much that this story is being covered, or the volume it's being covered at, which has been surprisingly appropriate. The problem is that it happened at all. The following sequence of quotes actually happened:   

"It was kind of, 'Why not,'" Padres general manager Josh Byrnes said Saturday before the Padres hosted the Washington Nationals.

In May 2013, Manziel visited the Padres when he was in San Diego to work with a quarterbacks coach.

"He certainly loves baseball," Byrnes said. "We kind of talked about it at that time, 'Do you want us to draft you?' He said, 'Yeah, absolutely.'"

Why in the 28th round?

"We really liked our 27th rounder," Byrnes said.

That ACTUALLY happened. The Padres are taking Manziel as a stunt, which by itself is rather silly, but once you do some research, it becomes even sillier. It's not as if the 28th round was the last one. Nope, there are 40 of those suckers which means that they wasted a middle round pick on someone who last played baseball a few years ago and is unlikely to ever play again except for beer league softball. There is an international conspiracy to add Johnny Manziel to everything. Even swans. If he's not somehow picked up by Ghana to play in the World Cup, I'll be shocked.