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A Conversation With Robert Griffin III

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Can we talk, Robert? Photo by John McDonnell/The Washington Post via Getty Images.
Can we talk, Robert? Photo by John McDonnell/The Washington Post via Getty Images.

Robert Griffin III made it back for Week 1, but he apparently aged a decade in the eight months between his physical collapse and his return to the field. Maybe he wasn’t quite superhuman, and perhaps everyone involved in the debacle understated the seriousness and lasting consequences of “The Accident.”  I’m sure all are guilt-laden for the very different reality the season has offered. Of course, that assumes the quarterback, head coach, surgeon and sponsors possess a conscience. Did I just change my handle to the writer named “Assofme from Football.com”?

Beyond the quarterback imposter, the defense has been an embarrassment. I heard Brian Orakpo was back. Has anyone seen him and his bionic breast muscle? A ‘Skins defensive end penetrating the backfield has been something of an endangered species, if not extinct altogether. The secondary is playing with ankle weights and their heads lodged in aromatically offensive places with a severely obstructed view. And gosh, I sure hope defensive coordinator Jim Haslett is enjoying the view of his handiwork from his new perch in the press box. 

Not to be omitted from the blooper reel, head coach Mike Shanahan and his boy wonder assistant, Kyle, have done little adapt to a cast of weapons now lacking a freakish force behind center. It’s real easy to look smart with the 2012 RGIII at your disposal. Four years in, I’m still waiting for the “Scheme Shanahan” to turn the offense into something greater than the sum of its parts. 

The sum of these disastrous ingredients has been an 0-3 start and an accompanying panic from Richmond, VA to Hagerstown, MD. While in the midst of a storm, I’d like to suggest a deep breath. Chicken Little, assume for a few hundred words that the sky isn’t falling and you are offered a quiet, philosophical moment with a young, embattled quarterback facing expectations created by his play last year and perpetuated by a heavily marketed rehabilitation. What would you say to him? What advice would you offer a 23-year-old quarterback who is facing the worst adversity of his career? 

RGIII, if I could have a moment of your time…