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Cowboys Fail To Impress

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The Cowboys are the BFL's version of pumpkin spice flavoring. Photo by AAron Ontiveroz/The Denver Post via Getty Images.
The Cowboys are the BFL's version of pumpkin spice flavoring. Photo by AAron Ontiveroz/The Denver Post via Getty Images.

There are three things I’ve come to accept every fall whether I understand them or not.

1. Daylight savings robbing us of an hour of sunlight for the next five months. While great for all of my farmer friends it seems a bit outdated for everyone else I know.

2. My wife’s need to purchase anything pumpkin flavored. We have containers of pumpkin spice, pumpkin butter and both pumpkin coffee and pumpkin-flavored coffee creamer. Meanwhile, I hate pumpkin flavored things. And apparently, my wife hates me.

3. The Dallas Cowboys yearly performance as the most underachieving team in the NFL.

Every year the Cowboys are supposed to be great. I know this because their owner and all the “experts” on TV tell me so. They spend the whole preseason talking about all the talent they have and about the weak competition in the division and how this is their year. And then, like the smell of the pumpkin scented candle burning in my kitchen, they stink!

Every year.

This year may be the worst example of this yearly trend. Because this year everything the experts said was actually true.

The Cowboys have talent. Especially on offense. They have the best quarterback in the division. I know right now most Giants fans are deciding to skip reading any further and are simply choosing to comment “two Super Bowls” below but come on, Eli is the third-best quarterback at the Thanksgiving dinner table. And he’s a healthy RG3 knee away from being the third-best in his own division. Fluky rings or not.

The Cowboys have the best receiver and tight end in the division and the best running back when healthy. The offense isn’t the problem.

The problem is on the other side of the ball this year. Which I find odd since last offseason that was the side of the ball blamed for last year’s collapse. Jerry Jones was allowed to fire Rob Ryan while Jason Garrett stood by and said nothing. Choosing to allow Ryan to be scapegoated to save his own hide.

This year the Cowboys currently rank dead last in overall defense right behind Jacksonville! Last year they were 19th. Meanwhile Rob Ryan’s new team, the Saints, currently sit at seventh overall in team defense.  Last year the Saints were dead last. Maybe Ryan wasn’t the problem after all?

But even with being last in defense, the Cowboys should be running away with the NFC East. The Giants are terrible with no running game and Eli having maybe his worst year ever. The Redskins are playing with a hobbled shell of RG3 and the Eagles have two starting QBs that can’t stay healthy and a third that makes Mark Sanchez feel like he still belongs starting in the NFL.

They are a total of one game up in the standings on Philadelphia. One and a half on Washington and the terrible Giants sit two back. The NFC East is literally up for grabs. All because the Cowboys are underachieving again.

We can point a finger at Jason Garrett and accuse him of being a weak leader and bad game manager. Look toward Jerry Jones’ terrible decisions as GM and wonder if he shouldn’t turn that title over to someone else. Blame Romo for his bad picks late in games. Picks he wouldn’t have to throw if his defense could stop anyone in return. Wish they still had Rob Ryan running that defense and assume they would have suspected a 6-5 quarterback might try a sneak from the one yard line last weekend. That they may have chosen to double Calvin Johnson long before he hit 300 yards receiving. Challenging anyone else to beat them instead.

Or we can just admit that maybe this is who the Cowboys have been since Troy, Emmitt and Michael walked out that door. A yearly over-hyped, over-paid, bunch of underachievers. Something that looks like it should be good but fails to impress and ultimately just disappoints every single year.

Just like pumpkin flavored ice cream.  

Week 9 Blitz

The walk-off safety Thursday night was great. What was shocking was that it was third time it’s actually happened.

Justin Blackmon is out the rest of the year for smoking weed. Meanwhile dozens of guys arrested for DUI will suit up and play this weekend.

The Bengals are in serious trouble with Geno Atkins the rest of the year. The type of trouble that leaves you desperate and has you reaching out to the likes of Jay Ratliff.

Ponder is back under center for the Vikings this weekend. Josh Freeman is making $11 million this season and he’s backing up Christian Ponder.

What can $100 million buy you? If you’re the Ravens it can buy you the 22nd ranked quarterback in the league.

I fully expect the Chiefs to be 9-0 after this Sunday and I wouldn't be surprised if they’re 9-3 after week 13.