 Sheldon Sounds Off - Ye Olde Commissioner Good day, football fans. Welcome to the International-National Football League. Stupidest marketing ploy ever, or a commissioner bent on creating a legacy as big as the NFL itself? I'm going with both – and after two hands full of the Roger Goodell era, I'm ready for someone else. I was as giddy as a nerd on prom night when Goodell began running the league, just knowing that he would crack down on the performance enhancing nonsense, as well as the character issues that have plagued the league over the past few years. Pac-Man Jones, Tank Johnson and Mike Vick didn't stand a chance against this minister of justice...this...Roger, don't call him Rog, Goodell. We can only hope that he'll find some way of checking up on, and enforcing child support payments from Tom Brady to Bridget Moynahan. He must, I repeat, MUST keep this league in line! (Speaking of Tom Brady: Maybe it depends on where you're from, but knocking up your girlfriend of four years, giving her the axe, and then going public with a new gal a few weeks after your “ex” announces the pregnancy, is about as classy as fighting dogs. But hey, he's white and good looking...the apparent golden boy of the NFL, so let's let bygones be bygones and ignore the fact that this child won't even carry Brady's name...that should let everyone know what kind of father Tom the Patriot plans to be.) Whew, I had to get that off of my chest. Now, back to this other dude. So. Goodell. At first, I truly thought that this guy was completely level headed – now I see he's just a robot run by a business that has yet to be determined. (My investigation is making slow but steady progress. I was thinking Disney, but it may in fact be Microsoft...I'll keep everyone posted.) I thought this guy might be exactly what the NFL needed. And hanging my head in shame, I can sincerely say that I was wrong. Mr. Goodell, the NFL stands for National Football League. If you're concerned about the fans in Europe, then why ditch the NFL-Europe which was wildly successful? If you feel that they deserve to see some regular season NFL action, that's great! Tell them to get in line behind the rest of us! Once you've considered these points, please explain to me why we don't have a pro football team in Los Angeles!? It's only the second largest city in the United States of America. How about testing that market? Or even hosting a game in Ames, Iowa. I bet you could get 90,000 NFL fans to Ames just as easily as you could fill the seats in London. OR, and this is bold...but consider it: How about NOT screwing die-hard, hometown fans of two teams by shipping their local heroes to some boring, neutral playing ground across the Atlantic-freaking-Ocean? Forgive me if my memory fails, but I can't remember Manchester United ever rocking the size 5 round-ball in the Metrodome. Can anyone help me out? How about you, Roger? Come on, man...seriously, what's the real reason behind it? It's all about you, isn't it? The things Roger Goodell did while he was the commissioner of the NFL. The “Academy” you're looking to establish in the UK to teach the English youth about American Football? I suppose there's no need for such an academy in the U.S of A., similar to Major League Baseball's RBI (Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities) program. The American youth is, after all, perfectly content with their cookies and video games and seem to have it all figured out – and with parents like Tom Brady, why would there be need for additional domestic programs. Regardless, no worries, it's all good, Mr. Commissioner. This game was a wild success! Two teams, one challenging for 1st place in their division, playing on a wet field in London, where the grounds crew replaced divots and repaired the field at half-time with pitchforks. The American and British flags, hanging next to the NFL banners from the rafters of Wembley Stadium – sagging in the center as if a local first grade class climbed a ladder and hung them themselves. There were more penalties than I have ever seen in a Pee Wee football game. A fan crashing the field, offering some excitment to the locals and going unbroadcast to those of us suffering through this inaugural event. Today, Mr. Commissioner, the NFL was represented as crap sport, and as being about as exciting as Major League Soccer. Congrats! I commend you.
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