Sporco Leeds Filthy Rich

We need a billionaire Sheikh, we got Arthur Daley!

Created on 25 Mar., 2014 11:31 AM GMT

The Football League turned down Cellino’s bid unequivocally yesterday and Cellino ummed and arred  and eventually, deludedly, decided to appeal, pleading his innocence of any wrongdoing,  despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary that was, unbelievably chronicled in a dossier compiled by GFH!

The damning report, ironically called ‘Project Athena’, detailed convictions, allegations and incidents involving Cellino, plenty enough for any sane person, let alone an investment bank with a duty of care to it’s shareholders & investors to see he was a worse match than Nigella Lawson & Charles Saatchi.

Athena is the goddess of wisdom, courage, inspiration, civilization, law and justice, just warfare, mathematics, strength, strategy, the arts, crafts, and skill. GFH have demonstrated precisely none of the above, apart from warfare against all other bidders.

Having read every word of their ruling it looks likely to require a legal team comprising Harvey Specter from Suits, Kavanagh QC, Perry Mason, Judge Judy, Petrocelli, Ironside, Vincent “Vinny” Gambini, Arnie Becker, Ally McBeal, Rusty Sabich & Rumpole of the fucking Bailey, never mind Johnny Coconut & Mishcon de Reya, which incidentally sounds like a Latina stripper.

From @PhilHayYEP “A little known detail of his contract with GFH is that Cellino, or Eleonora Sport Ltd, agreed to fund the United for the six-month period after his takeover was first agreed.” This is almost unbelievable, that legal team were obviously pissed when they agreed to the clause or a member of GFH’s coterie of lawyers has some damning photographs of Cellino in flagrante delicto at one of Berlusconi’s infamous Bunga Bunga parties!

Following the decision, GFH Capital insisted they were still in talks with the league and Eleonora Sport in a bid “to find a solution that is suitable to all parties”. Does that mean they are trying to gerrymander a solution based on hiding the old man behind his sons, or his daughter’s lovely arse, are they sure, in fact do they not realise they have more chance platting fog than rescuing this deal?

Meanwhile, the Together Leeds consortium, led by Mike Farnan, whose own daughter, the fragrant Poppy has substantial assets to bring to the party, are watching the drama unfold and planning their next move, despite being made as welcome to the GFH table as a turd floating in a swimming pool.

GFH insist no chance that the club will go into administration, so said Beeston Dave with all the gravitas of an asthmatic 8 year old girl.

The fact is that the Italian has been cash flowing the business since the beginning of February, his statement yesterday sent a shiver down a million Leeds fans’ spines.

“I have to appeal. I feel a responsibility to the fans who I am proud to say wanted me. THANKS FOR PATRONISING US.
“There are hours, not the next few days. Leeds needs help, needs blood, needs money. Leeds can’t wait. FUCK ME, THAT SOUNDS SERIOUS.
“What worries me is I am the only one worrying about that. It’s embarrassing. NO SURPRISE THERE, GFH ARE OBLIVIOUS TO THE SEVERITY OF THE SITUATION AND RECKON IT WILL BLOW OVER!
“I am not worrying about the money I have already paid and maybe am going to lose. YOU CHOSE TO GET INTO BED WITH THESE POX RIDDEN LOSERS.
“I am feeling embarrassed, ashamed and down. JOIN THE CLUB MATE.
“It’s not nice to say. I feel lost. I am not a crook. I didn’t come to Leeds to do anything bad.” THE EVIDENCE & HISTORY PAINTS A DIFFERENT PICTURE SUNSHINE.

The Club statement is worse, lacking the passion of Cellino’s, typically badly written and uninformative:
“The club and its shareholders are disappointed at the decision of the Football League not to approve Massimo Cellino as a director of Leeds United FC. LIKE IT’S A SURPRISE, YOU DELUSIONAL MUPPETS.
“However, the board and executive management of the club will continue discussions with the Football League and Eleonora Sport to find a solution that is suitable to all parties. NO FUCKING CHANCE.
“Our shareholders continue to support the club directly or through additional investments as has always been the case. BY NOT PUTTING ANY CASH IN SINCE CELLINO STARTED PAYING ALL THE BILLS IN FEBRUARY?
“We would like to reassure the fans of the continuity of our great club.” THANKS FOR THAT!

As the main protagonists spent their time making pointless statement they left Brian McDermott, an extremely honest artisan, stuck in a job that’s too big for his ability and continuously showered in shit from above, to face the press, he made all the right noises. He is good at saying the right things, the performances he has produced on the pitch veer between questionable & shite.

Leeds fans are in a state of wide eyed shock and slack jawed disbelief that once again in the 10th year of hurt, we are staring down from the edge of the abyss @BillyisGod Chairman of @LUFCTrust wrote a beautiful, impassioned plea for clarity and direction http://lufctrust.squarespace.com/blog so far it has fallen on deaf ears.

As Beeston Dave would sing “I could be so bad for you….”


I love Arthur Daley, but not running my football club!

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