Fake Eric Cantona

Barcelona Announce Luis Enrique As the New Manager

Created on May. 20, 2014 10:17 PM EST

It was only a few seasons ago, summer breeze humming with wheat in the cool Italian shade, I was enjoying grano with family, that, at the time very enthusiastically, I heard that Luis Enrique would take the reigns of the Giallorossi. The excitement of a manager who was so successful with Barcelona B and the thoughts of tiki-tika in the distance left me dazzled, but..

The reality was that Luis Enrique, in the Serie A, was not really ready to lead a team to great things. People will point, perhaps rightfully, to his inability to connect with Totti. In Roma, Totti is the Emperor, and has been for some time. LE, as he was known, never established rapport with any of the players, including Totti. 

In the end, Luis Enrique left without a legacy. It was as if he never managed Roma. Who did he bring in? Bojan Krkic? Dani Osvaldo? That Danish kid with the ugly tattoo sleeves who wishes he was Danny Agger, but plays more like Old Philip Mexes? 

I mean, I would never say that to Kjaer's face, but yeah, he's not that great. And neither is Enrique.

Luis Enrique would never have this chance if he didn't play for Barcelona. Full Stop. Fact. #. Ask yourself if I am wrong. Given Luis Enrique's track record, having failed utterly at Roma, and to the point that he capitulated mid season practically, he really has no place managing Messi. 

For all the Madridistas, it could be time to Party. Barcelona's decline may in fact continue. And it's crazy to thing that a team that has a guy like Messi could ever struggle, but they might just do that. 

Luis Enrique has never taken a team to the Champions League. He failed at Roma. He was mildly successful at Celta Vigo. The standard at Barcelona, who won so much over the past decade, is so high that he has no real chance but to fail so badly that his entire family will need to commit seppuku in order to regain honor. He should never have taken the job.

I could be very wrong on this, but I fear that Cristiano Ronaldo will nonchalantly collect yet another POTY ballon d'or next winter. And as people wonder about the decline of Messi, or how things have really quite fallen off, I will be here, saying, yeah, that manager just wasn't the right one, baby.