Game-By-Game Predictions For The 'Skins

Created on Sept. 03, 2013 12:01 PM EST

Week 1 To Week 5

Week 1: Philadelphia at Washington

Score: Eagles 24, ‘Skins 20

Here’s the deal: I smell a rat.

This game reminds me of their upset of New Orleans in Week 1 last year. Like the Saints last September, the ‘Skins have no idea what to expect from the Philadelphia offense — other than that it will be up-tempo. The lack of game tape, the frantic pace and the absence of two key players — DE Jarvis Jenkins and LB Rob Jackson — will have the ‘Skins defense scrambling and gassed by the fourth quarter.

And I’m just not drinking the RGIII Kool-Aid at this point. He’ll play in Week 1, but he will be rusty and limited. He’s human. No really, he is.

Week 2: Washington at Green Bay

core: Packers 27, ‘Skins 24

Here’s the deal: On a short week, the ‘Skins travel to Lambeau Field to face a 0-1 Green Bay team coming off a tough loss to the 49ers.

It will prove too much, even with Alfred Morris working the Packers defense. Aaron Rodgers ultimately gets the best of a rebuilt and rehabilitated secondary that’s still finding its regular season legs. Now 0-2, panic starts to loom on the D.C. horizon — because that’s what we do in the nation’s capital.

Week 3: Detroit at Washington

Score: ‘Skins 31, Lions 17

Here’s the deal: Death, taxes … and the Detroit Lions losing to the ‘Skins in D.C: those are the things you can unequivocally count on in this topsy-turvy world.

Usually I completely dismiss historical records between teams — every year is completely independent of another. But the Lions, bless their little try-hard hearts, have never beaten the ‘Skins in Washington. Think about that. Both teams have been playing football for a long, long time, but never once did Detroit stumble upon a win in Washington.

I certainly don’t claim to be immortal and I diligently pay my taxes every year, so who am I to question the third constant of human existence? Desperate for a win, the ‘Skins ride history’s cosmic favor and get a much needed win here.

Week 4: Washington at Oakland

Score: ‘Skins 27, Raiders 13

Here’s the deal: The Raiders are bad.

The ‘Skins, on the cusp of their bye week and coming off a much needed win against the Lions, spill it out west and pick up a decisive victory against a team favored to secure the top pick in next year’s NFL Draft. The ‘Skins can’t possibly lose this game, right? Right.

Week 5: Bye, Bye

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