Stupid Football.com Debate Team Tricks
By TJ Hatter
TJ Hatter: Thank you once again for clicking on Football.com's Debate Team with Joe Scumaci and TJ Hatter. This week, the two of us pay tribute to David Letterman with Top 10 Lists on two of the biggest NFL Topics of the week.
Joe Scumaci: I'm back to hating this idea. Should I give you 10 reasons why?
TJ Hatter: Sounds like a blog post
Topic 1. Top 10 Reactions To The NY Jets QB Moves
TJ Hatter: This is a perfect storm of tabloid fodder and questionable football decision. Congratulations to everyone involved. There are two cities left in the world where newspapers can actually bully multi-billion-dollar organizations to do things: New York and London. As a consequence, things like last week happen. The New York Jets cut Mark Sanchez (understandable) and signed Michael Vick (hide your dog). We've put together, inspired by the genius that is David Letterman and his staff, a reaction list. We apologize in advance to Mr. Letterman.
Joe Scumaci: Mark, we'll always have the Buttfumble. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday you'll treasure that as much as ESPN did. It's an achievement in Jets lore that few can replace. The same is true for the two AFC Championship appearances, which too few talk about.
The Top 10 Reactions To The Mark Sanchez Michael Vick Swap
10) "No, seriously, drinks on me." — Tabloid headline writers
9) "No, seriously, drinks on me." — PETA fundrasers
8) "So, when are the drinks coming?" — Celebrities that model naked for PETA
7) "Woof!!!!! Meow!!!! Cluck!!!!" — Animals involved in PETA
6) "So we can't make any more money off the Buttfumble?" — ESPN
5) "Are you sure we can't play that a few more times?" — ESPN
4) This Declaration of Independence.
3) "He's not gonna be visiting us, is he?" — Every Single Animal Shelter In New York, New Jersey and Connecticut
2) "No, seriously, he's not coming around here, is he?" — Pets Across Long Island.
1) "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" — The Dogs of the Tri-State Area.
Topic 2. Tim Tebow Returning To The NFL
Tim Tebow, who really does seem like a nice person and has a broadcasting future that is quite bright, announced that he is still attempting to get into the NFL Quarterback business.
Here Are Our Top 10 Things More Likely To Happen:
10) "And the 2014 Starting Quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars, Jesus H. Christ!"
9) "The Cleveland Browns organization has really turned a corner. They're almost functional!" — Mel Kiper
8) "Justin Bieber proves to be a stable father and husband." — TMZ
7) "Captain America Goes Communist! The Shocking Story!" — Fox News
6) "Tim Tebow elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame." — ESPN First Take
5) "Russia acts responsibly as the Ukraine reforms!" — ABC News
4) "Barack Obama was wrong, once, accidentally." — MSNBC
3) "Barack Obama was right." — Fox News
2) "Really impressed by the staff at Football.com, in fact, I plan to hire them." — Peter King
1) "Tim Tebow Named Starting Quarterback of the XFL." — Anyone
Up next, Paul Shaffer and I will be joined by our special guest, Tim Tebow. Wow, this is gonna be awkward.